Stellar Path

I ended up getting sick Saturday night. Sunday was okay. Monday was a little worse. Today is awful. God willing, I will feel better tomorrow.

This weigh-in is going to suck. I have not been in the gym since Sunday, and my diet has not really been that great, either. But I’ll just own it and accept whatever the scale gives me Friday morning.

I have no great diet insights to share, so I have decided that I want to do a different post. I’m going to talk a little about the wedding!

As those of you who have been here for a while know, I am getting married to my better half, Tina, this October. Our wedding is going to be a bit nontraditional in some ways and very traditional in others.

We’re getting married by one of my best friends. However, he is not one of those Internet Church of Mammals preachers. He just happens to be a pastor, and since we haven’t found a church here to join yet, we’re going to have him marry us. It’s going to be a pretty standard Protestant service.

In a cave. We’re getting married in Lost River Cave. It’s a local cave with a pretty interesting history. The spot where we are getting married is an old nightclub from the Prohibition Era. It’s beautiful; of course, I’ll post pictures of the wedding as soon as we’re back from the honeymoon.

My best man is a woman. This one isn’t weird to me but apparently it’s different to a lot of people. Fortunately, Tina has no issues with it. My best friend (other than Tina, of course) just happens to be a woman, so who else would I pick to be my best man?

Tina and I are both dorks. I’m a bigger dork than she is, but we’re both pretty dorky. Tina is also a baker. She had planned to do our wedding cake, but pretty much every married woman we know advised her against this, solely for stress reasons. That’s why she decided that instead, she would make the groom’s cake.

I’m a little different, in that I am a fat kid who DOES NOT LIKE CAKE. Frankly, it bores me. Oh, spongy bread… can I just have the icing? Which is why my groom’s cake is going to ROCK, because it’s going to not be a cake!

Tina is making a three-tiered “cake.” The bottom layer is going to be a brownie, the middle layer will be cookies, and the top layer will be Golden Grahams S’mores treats (picture Rice Krispie Treats, but with Golden Grahams and chocolate chips instead of Rice Krispies.) And the entire thing will be covered with icing.

But best yet… she’s doing it Super Mario themed!

It’s a bit of an inside joke. At our engagement party last Halloween, which was also a costume party, we dressed up as Super Mario and Princess Peach.

And we decided that a Super Mario themed wedding cake would be a bit much, but it would be perfect for a groom’s cake! And we found some Super Mario and Princess Peach toys that are going to serve as cake toppers.

Yes, I will be cheating on my diet the day of my wedding.

I am trying twitter. Again. In the past, I ripped off Tyler from 344pounds.com and tried to use twitter to post my meals. That didn’t work.

Now, I’m just trying to use Twitter for… whatever… twitter is used for… I guess…

I kinda feel like someone’s grandfather who is trying to use the internet for the first time.

“Kids today… with their iPods and YouTubes and Borats… Back in my day, we played with rocks and were happy to have them!”

Anyhow, my user name is stellarpath, and you can follow me. Add me, and I’ll add you. Or let me know you have a twitter account, and I’ll add you first. I’m not really sure what Twitter etiquette is. Is it like a “show me yours and I’ll show you mine” kind of thing?

And then there were six… and I was not one of them.

I was eliminated tonight. The red team lost. I had the lowest percentage on our team. I had to leave the Biggest Loser Ranch. I mean the Island. I mean the Outback. I mean the Train 2 Lose competition.

And honestly, I am completely okay with that. I was not eliminated because I didn’t try as hard. I worked my tail off. I was not eliminated because of a popular vote. This was strictly numbers. Technically, Patrina had a lower percentage than me, but she gets to stay another week at least because the women’s team won.

I gave it my all. I had nothing more I could give. I just happen to be a slow loser, and that’s fine. Frankly, I’m glad to be out of the competition in a way, because now I can just concentrate on losing weight and being happy with a one pound loss.

I weighed in tonight at 334.2 pounds. That’s a loss of 1.6 pounds since last week. I’ll happily take it.

I had Tina take a photo of me when I got home from the gym, and I’ll post it beside the one I took when the contest started. I think I can tell a SMALL difference in my appearance. How about everyone else?

I’ll continue to track the contest here on my blog. These people are my friends now, and I’ll still be there on Fridays to cheer them on. I’m sure I’ll still workout with them periodically.

I am grateful that I did Train to Lose, because it taught me many things, both about weight loss and myself. And I can pretty confidently say that I will probably never again enter a weight loss competition, because I don’t want to get wrapped up in the numbers game of weight loss.

And I do find it VERY interesting that I actually lost slightly more after a week of doing one hour a day than I did the previous weeks doing four and five hours a day.

Also, I am VERY excited to start taekwondo again! I have a second degree black belt to earn, and I will be back at Jeramy Black’s Taekwondo Academy on Monday night, ready to train.

Okay, that’s not me.  I hope it’s me someday.

I am going to post a video here from YouTube of my instructor, Mr. Jeramy Black, testing for his 6th Degree Master Black Belt in Chattanooga, Tennessee about a year and a half ago.  I’m actually in his demonstration, barely.  (I was a board holder.  I held for a ridge hand break.)  See if you can find me.  I’ll give you a hint.  I’m the fat black belt.

Fridays will still be my weigh in day, only now I will record my weight first thing in the morning. I may see a gain next week as I post, just for the simple fact that the scale we used at the gym weighs about two pounds lighter than my scale here. But that’s okay, because this is more than about the numbers of weight loss. And after that, I’ll continue to see the numbers drop.

My Weekly $5 Goals Update

1. Reach 332.

Fail. I made it to 334.2, which is pretty close. But it’s still a failure.

2. Workout ONLY for one hour per day.

Success! This one ALMOST didn’t happen, for reasons I’ll explain in #5, but by divine intervention, this one was accomplished.

3. Write 3,000 words of fiction, including some on my novel.

Fail. I wrote about 1,600 on Ice Blog (which is updated tonight with a slightly R-rated post, go check it out!), but none on my novel and certainly not 3,000 words. We’ll try again next week.

4. Finish 3 complete workouts in the weight room.

Success! I love everything about doing weights, and I’m going to work out with weights later tonight. Can’t wait!

5. Take another spin class.

Success! Tina and I took a 30 minute introductory spin class on Thursday. I knew this would put me over an hour, with the one hour Train 2 Lose workout, but I wanted to try spinning again. Besides, we just bought two gel seats for the bikes, so we had to try them out. It wasn’t bad. I’ll do it again. So I did it, expecting to go over my hour limit for the day. However, we only did 30 minutes that night at the gym, so I managed to do both spin and stay under an hour. Success!

That gives me $6 toward Super Mario Brothers Wii and you all $9 toward another giveaway. As soon as I’ve hit ten dollars or so, I’ll find something else fitness related to give out.

My $5 Weekly Goals for Next Week

1. Reach 330.
2. Take at least three taekwondo classes.
3. Write 3,000 words on my novel.
4. Drink one gallon of water on at least four days.
5. Track every bite I eat on FitDay at least five days.

That’s my week. How has yours been?

As always, if you are viewing this on the main page, the video may not appear. If you click on the title of this post, it will be on the post’s page.

Sadly, the t.v. hosts did not seem to actually watch the video clip before they started talking about it, because while they were correct that Deanna was eliminated, she did LOSE weight, not gain. Stupid newscasters.

I suspect this will be my last week in the contest, and I am at peace with that. There are several benefits to no longer being in this competition.

One, I can go back to taekwondo. My classes meet at the same time as the Train 2 Lose competition, and I haven’t gone in a while. I’m still a Senior 1st Degree Black Belt, and I hope to test for Probationary 2nd Degree Black Belt in July.

Two, the numbers game of weight loss is getting in my head. I want to just be able to be happy if I’ve lost weight, not be upset if I haven’t lost enough. I can’t guarantee that still won’t happen as the wedding date draws closer and closer (we’re getting married in seven and a half months – holy crap!) but I want to relax about it. I really believe that stress may be a contributing factor. It’s also just SO frustrating seeing people who are not working out any harder than myself dropping such big numbers. It sucks. Hard. And blows. At the same time.

Three, I want to experiment with my eating and exercise to see what truly works best for me, and in this contest, I’m afraid to do that, for fear it may cause me to gain weight. Granted, that’s sort of what I’m doing this week, with only exercising one hour a day, but still… I want to experiment a little, and I don’t feel free to do that yet.

My trainer said he doesn’t think I’ll go this week. I think I will. I don’t suspect I’ve lost anything, and I certainly haven’t lost anything substantial, but we’ll see. He did tell me that he could tell my face is thinner, which was certainly nice to hear.

As soon as I’m out of the contest, I’ll resume Friday as my weigh-in day, but I’ll obviously use my weight that I record first thing every morning. I also need to start posting more pictures of myself. I think I may take a photo every Friday evening, just to see if I can track my weight loss as it goes lower.

On other news, I’ve decided to start Project 365. If you don’t know what it is, basically, you take a photo every day for a year. That’s it in a nutshell. I’ll likely take most of them on my cell phone; it’s only a two megapixel camera, but I’ve heard many photographers say that it isn’t the camera that makes a photo, it’s the photographer. Hopefully, my skills will improve over the year. I can definitely say that this first photo is not a prize winner. Anyway, you can check out my page here.  (http://365project.org/stellarpath/)

And then were seven… and I am still in the contest by the skin of my teeth.

I weighed in at 335.8, for a total weight loss of an astounding 1.4 pounds.

That was my sarcastic voice. Seriously, I have busted my ass this week, working out a MINIMUM of three hours a day, and I lost 1.4 pounds. I have not eaten a single carb after lunch. I have only eaten healthy, clean foods, and I am not in starvation mode.

So I’ve decided that for the next week, I am not doing as much. I’m going to do one hour a day.

Here’s my logic. I know that I cannot maintain three hours of exercise a day for the rest of my life. It simply is not possible. However, an hour of exercise is something that I can do. This is my new philosophy – if I cannot do it for the rest of my life, then I will not do it now to lose weight.

My weight loss may go even slower. If it does, then I’ll go to a doctor and have myself thoroughly checked out. I suspect, though, that a lot of this is truly mental. I am definitely a believer in the mind being a powerful influence on the body, both good and bad. With the mindset I have had in this contest of “win at all costs,” I don’t think it’s good for my body.

Because I have not been having fun with my weight loss for a few weeks now. So if I am eliminated next week, then so be it. I am honestly, truly fine with that. I can already name some benefits to being out of this competition. One, I can go back to taekwondo. Taekwondo meets four nights a week at 7 p.m., which is the same time as my workout. I’m itching to get back in class, start sparring again, and get ready for my 2nd degree black belt test. I want to perfect my form. I want to see my taekwondo buddies again, who I haven’t seen in a LONG time.

Two, I can go back to not being in a mental anguish state all day long over a looming weigh-in. I want to just get up, whatever my weight is in the morning, buck naked on the scale fresh out of the shower, is what it is. I don’t want to think, “Well, I know this would be good for me, but it’s food that would be sitting on my stomach, and that’s not good for me at this weigh-in.” That’s ridiculous, and starting now, I’m not going to think that way again.

Hell, I’m almost campaigning to be eliminated next week. I like the guys on my team and I like both trainers and I like the girls on the blue team, but I want to go back to just working out and losing weight, not agonizing over every ounce lost.

Because you know what? I should be happy with a low loss, even 1.4 pounds, and not begrudge it because it isn’t enough. 1.4 pounds a week is still 72.8 pounds in a year, and I’d look a lot better (and be a lot healthier) at 260 than 330.

Okay, bitch fest is over. The red team won, which is the only reason I am still there. I am the lowest person on the red team with a total weight loss of 16.2 pounds, and I am sixth overall. The blue team lost, and that means Deanna is going home. This one isn’t a sad elimination, though, because Deanna is not distraught, and she and her husband are joining the gym next week, so she’ll still be working out. Yay Deanna!

On to other news… first up… my first giveaway!

There were eight entries, thank you so much to those of you who entered, and the winner of my first ever giveaway was… Josie from Yum Yucky! Yay Josie! Josie, if you would, please email me at blueservo@gmail.com the address of where you would like the CarbQuik sent, and I will have it on its way to you Monday morning. While I’m talking about Josie, I’d also recommend you go check out her blog which is one of my new favorites. She has a wonderful writing style and sense of humor, and she is a true pleasure to follow, in a way that doesn’t sound stalker-y.

Second, and somewhat related to giveaways, is my Weekly $5 Goals Update.

1. Reach 333

Fail! Not even close. I’m still almost three pounds away. Granted, a loss is a loss, so I’m not too torn about not meeting this one.

2. Write 3,000 words on my novel

Fail! I did write 1,800 words of fiction (more on that in just a moment), but it wasn’t 3,000.

3. Drink at least one gallon of water a day

Fail! I came awfully close. On at least four days, I drank more than that much. I got close on the others, but I’m following this to the letter, and I didn’t make it.

4. Do at least 2 extra at-home workouts

Success! I, in fact, did three!

5. Finish 4 complete workouts in the weight room

Fail! Only three.

I have now earned $3 toward my purchase of a Super Mario Brothers Wii, and you currently have $7 toward the next giveaway. I’m not sure – I’m thinking the next giveaway will either be a water bottle or an exercise DVD. What do you think?

But I still like doing my goals, so here are my goals for this week!

1. Reach 332.
2. Workout ONLY for one hour per day. (That’s right – my goal this week is to do LESS.)
3. Write 3,000 words of fiction, including some on my novel.
4. Finish 3 complete workouts in the weight room.
5. Take another spin class.

That’s right, I said take ANOTHER spin class. I did one with Train 2 Lose, and there were parts of it I really liked. I liked the toughness of it; I liked the challenge it gave my leg muscles. I DID not like one aspect of it, and I can only assume that Spinning is Latin for “The Process of Being Anally Raped by a Bicycle Seat.” However, I am buying a padded gel seat this weekend, so I’ll be ready for next week.

Okay, my last thing – I mentioned I wrote 1,800 words of fiction this week. I’ve written more about it on the tab at the top of this page that says Ice Blog, but basically, I’ve created a fictional blog about a morbidly obese man who is spending the next two years alone in Antarctica. There are twists and turns planned, and I hope you’ll read it and see what happens. I’d always appreciate constructive feedback. You can find Ice Blog by either clicking the tab at the top of the page or going directly to http://www.stellarpath.net/IceBlog/.

As always, to see the video if you are on the main page, click on the title of this post and view this post on its own page. The video should be embedded at that point.

Very disappointing weigh in last Friday. And apparently, I have a tic of clapping my hands any time I am on camera.

I hope (and think I will) have a loss of at least three pounds this Friday. I am close to two pounds down now (I think). It’s very frustrating that I am busting my butt and still not losing like others, but what can you do? I’m still hoping I can pull into the top three at some point. I’ve got Jeanette, Chris, Daniel, and Christie as my main competition. If I could have two good weeks (and subsequently they don’t have as good of weeks), I can pull ahead. Maybe I can still turn my three pounds into five by this Friday? We’ll see.

I plan on doing four hours today. One hour of Zumba, one hour of elliptical on my own, one hour Train 2 Lose workout, and one additional hour of elliptical on my own again. It’ll be a busy day, but we’re getting down to crunch time. I refuse to have another bad weigh-in on Friday if I can at all keep it from happening.

In a way, I’ll be very happy when this contest is over, because I’m starting to get to a point where it isn’t enjoyable. I like the workouts, I like the people, but I don’t like the numbers game that I’m starting to play. I just want to be at a place where I can enjoy my weight loss, even if it’s just a pound or two, and not be frustrated if I don’t lose six.

I have decided to do my first giveaway on Valentine’s Day!

Granted, I have only accumulated $3 for giveaways in my $5 Weekly Goals, but this one is totally on me.

Also, I have this sitting in my house, I know that I’m not going to use it, and I hate to see stuff going to waste.

This giveaway is for a product called Carbquik.

It is basically a flour substitute that is extremely low in carbs, high in fiber, and can be used in a variety of different recipes. So far, I’ve made pizza, biscuits, and cookies with it, and the end result isn’t bad. (The cookies were my favorite so far, and that’s what I’m going to make with my leftover Carbquik from my box.)

I bought two boxes which, with shipping, was $30. This isn’t an especially cheap product.

However, I’m trying to eat a more clean diet, and while there are times I want to eat fewer carbs, I think I’m just going to give up my carbs rather than look for a replacement. Thus, I have an unopened, fresh box of Carbquik sitting in my house, and I would rather one of you have it. (Future giveaways will likely be more along the lines of fitness rather than food products, but I’m excited to get my giveaways going, so here we are.)

The contest will run until Thursday night, February 18th. It is open to anyone, anywhere, which means I’ll ship this Carbquik anywhere in the world. To enter, just submit a comment that answers this question.  (Also, please feel free to share news of this giveaway to anyone!)

What is one food that you cannot give up entirely, healthy eating or no healthy eating?

I thought about naming this post “And then there were three…” as that is what my trainer said to me as I left tonight.

The guys lost. Again.

I lost a grand total of 0.2 pounds. There have been MANY, MANY, MANY times that I have seen a small loss, or even a gain, and while I was upset, I would have to say, “I know exactly why this happened,” even if I didn’t want to admit it to myself. This week, I have no idea why I had such a small loss. I have worked my tail off. I have measured every bite of every morsel of food that has gone in my mouth. I have drank tons of water. I honestly don’t know why.

Maybe it’s just one of those things. I can accept that. The human body is weird, and sometimes, weight gain or loss just doesn’t always make sense. It is what it is. Tomorrow is the start of another week.

As far as tonight goes, as previously mentioned, the Blue Team kicked our butts. Well, the beat us by 0.2%, but it was still enough. I don’t remember exactly how much everyone lost, but I know that Jeanette lost over four pounds, Chris lost over six pounds, I lost 0.2 pounds to come out at 337.2, and Angie and Kayvan neither one lost or gained. Dead zero. I’m pretty sure Deanna and Patrina had small losses. Kayvan was the lowest member on the guy’s team, and he is the Red Team member who was sent packing. Bye Kayvan.

What does this mean for me? If we don’t win again next week, I am probably going home. I am currently in dead last on the men’s team and in 6th place overall. The ranking from last week hasn’t changed at all. I’ve gotta figure out something to boost my loss. I’m also wondering if I should just stay the course or try something new? I had someone suggest that I try eating my carbs early in the day and only do protein and healthy fats in the afternoon and evening. I may give it a shot. We’ll see.

Let me also give you a rundown of my $5 Weekly Goals!

Last week’s goals

1. Reach 333 – Fail! I only lost 0.2 pounds this week. I currently weigh 337.2. Not quite 333.
2. Finish walking Rhode Island – Success! I completed Rhode Island early this morning, and I’m already 13,000 steps into my new state of Nebraska! (I’ll post more about walking Nebraska later this weekend.)
3. Write 2,500 words on my novel – Utter fail. I think I wrote… uhm, zero words. I really thought I would make this one. Oh well.
4. Finish 4 complete workouts in the weight room – Little fail, but still a fail. I did three workouts in the weight room. An act of God intervened on this one, as on one of the nights Tina and I were going to lift, a snowstorm came and the gym closed at 8 p.m. We didn’t have time. Oh well. It’s still a fail.
5. Begin the 100 Push Ups Challenge – Success! I utterly suck at push ups, but I have both done my initial assessment and done the first day’s work.

Thus far, I have earned $2 toward Super Mario Brothers Wii and you all have earned $3 toward your first giveaway. Still not sure what it’s going to be yet, but when I have about $10 or so saved up, I’ll figure it out then.

This Week’s Goals

1. Reach 333
2. Write 3,000 words on my novel
3. Drink at least one gallon of water a day
4. Do at least 2 extra at-home workouts
5. Finish 4 complete workouts in the weight room

These are my goals for the week. Hopefully, I’ll do them all.

As always, if you are viewing this post on the main page, the video may not load. However, if you click on the title of the post so you are viewing it on its own page, the video should load. Not sure why it’s doing this, but it is. On with the rest of the post…

I am a huge dork in this video, but I’m okay with that, because everyone was so lifeless, and I decided to just go for it and celebrate. Granted, I thought I had lost 2.6 pounds instead of 1.6, but if I was going to take Craig up on his challenge and throw a thumbs up out there, I knew I had to celebrate. The thumbs up is just there for half a second, but I held the thumbs up the entire time I walked back from the scale.

So I did. I threw my hands over my head, and because my shirt has shrank in the laundry (stupid dryer), you can see my gut. Oh well. They have my weight up there, and I’d wager that a lot of guys who weigh 337.4 either have a gut or they are approximately twelve feet tall.

There is also a shirtless picture of me on the internet now! The horrors!

They took our photo, swore to us that it wouldn’t be used anywhere but in our file for purposes LATER if we chose to use it, but the big fat liars lied. The lying liars. Granted, this is just a shoulders-up shot, kind of like on Fear Factor (but without the spinning), and it really doesn’t bother me. I just wish they had told me they were going to use it so I would have flashed my best driver’s license smile. Tina made fun of me because my chest hair looked like the top of a heart. It does and she already knew this, but apparently, this picture in 8×10 form in our gym makes it a little funnier. Who knew?

As stated previously, we ended up losing Vaughn Flickner.

I’m very nervous about this week’s weigh-in. I have a hunch I’ll be nervous about EVERY weigh-in. I just don’t think I’ve lost much. I hope I can lose a pound or two, but… we’ll see. Still, I’ve lost 14.6 pounds in three weeks, and I have to recognize that that is an achievement in and of itself.

I’d still love to win the whole flippin’ contest, though.

This idea is completely stolen from Steve. Maybe it was his, maybe he stole it from somewhere else, I dunno. But I take no credit for it, but I plan to start using it. Basically, he posts his goals that he wants to accomplish that week, and every weigh-in day, he tells us if he succeeded or failed.

I’m going to include goals that are really easy to accomplish, and I’m going to include goals that will require a decent amount of work.

I’m going to play mine a little bit differently. I’m going to give myself five goals, every week. Each goal is worth $1. If I meet that goal, that $1 will go into a pot to “buy myself something pretty.” [At the moment, I have my eye on Super Mario Brothers Wii. I want my own copy!] If I do not meet that goal, that $1 will go into a pot to buy something to give away to the readers of my blog. When I’ve collected enough money to buy something decent, around $10 or so to buy a water bottle or something fitness related (or just cool), I’ll hold a giveaway here.

Incidentally, I was going to give the money to charity, but then it occurred to me, that’s kind of like saying, “I’m trading my health and mental well-being for starving kids! Yay for my success! Sorry kids.” So while I’ll continue giving to charity on my own, this $5 will only be going to me or you all. (And some of you are poor, right? I know I am.)

My Goals for This Week (to be accomplished by February 12th)

1. Reach 333
2. Finish walking Rhode Island
3. Write 2,500 words on my novel
4. Finish 4 complete workouts in the weight room
5. Begin the 100 Push Ups Challenge

I know for sure I can do two of these, maybe three. Number one may prove elusive, but I’m going to give it my best. I’m doing variable calories every day, so hopefully, that will help me lose this weight! Today is a lower calorie day for me, but I’ve planned out my food for the day, and so far, it seems very do-able.

On other news, I’m going to have to give up one of my favorite snacks. Quaker Oats Oatmeal Raisin Granola Bars.

They only have 90 calories, so they can’t be bad for you, right? They’re sweet and gooey and if you haven’t had a candy bar in months, they’re like a candy bar! And it’s not just oatmeal raisin! I also enjoy the chocolate chunk, or the peanut butter and chocolate… God help me, I even like the S’more. (Fake S’mores usually taste like crap, and not fake crap, but real crap. [Not that I know what that tastes like… just sayin…] But these S’mores actually taste pretty good.)

Alas, they are full of crap I shouldn’t be eating. The box said it was made with whole grains.

What the box DID NOT say (well, it did, but you had to investigate it and study like you were reading a murder mystery) was that in addition to a tiny serving of whole grains, it also has partially hydrogenated oils. Those are a big no-no.

So while I love them, they are not the great find I once thought they were. I thought they were a 90 calorie serving of goodness and whole grains, not 90 calories of pure, unadulterated evil.