A lot has happened this summer. Some good, some bad on the surface but still ultimately a blessing, and some just… well, busy.

The good – I am still trying to lose weight. Trying is the operative word. My trainer has connected me with a doctor. She thinks I have an issue that may require medication. I trust her expertise (she’s been doing this for over fifteen years), and I’m willing to see what comes of it. I go to the doctor on Thursday; I’ll let you know what happens. All I know is this – if there is some type of imbalance in my body that is keeping me from losing weight, I am MORE than happy to take a pill every day to get me back in balance so my hard work will drop off.

The bad on the surface – my mother in law’s house burned down. She essentially lost almost everything. (I’ll post about this probably next.)

The still a blessing – she is okay, no one died, and insurance pays for things. Yes, some irreplaceables were lost, but she is still with us. God was definitely watching out for her that day, and for that, we are all very grateful.

And the busy… work. Wedding planning stuff. Cleaning. Random miscellany.

I know I haven’t posted in over a month. It’s just so frustrating seeing the same 330ish weight pop up when I am working SO hard. There have been times when I knew why I didn’t gain weight. This month hasn’t been one of them. That’s what is facilitating the visit to the doctor.

And I am now more determined than EVER to be a personal trainer. I love everything about working out; I love eating healthy; I want to help other people get to their fitness ideals, too. I WILL be working in fitness by next summer. Maybe part-time, maybe full-time, maybe for myself… don’t know yet. But I am getting my medical issues straightened out, even if it requires a visit to every doctor in the state, and I’m going to do this for a living. I’ve never done what I truly loved; the closest I’ve ever gotten is what I kinda like. Well, I love fitness and health, and I’m going to do it.

Now, on to my blog… Yeah, I really haven’t written to it in over a month. I know that quite a few people have lost their blogging spark. Frankly, I miss Craig and Erin, and while I’m glad that Jess, the various Josies and Dianes, Kat, Lynne, Mary, Seth, Tara, Brandon, Carla, Staci, and so many others are still posting. I’m still reading, even if I suck at posting. (Sorry guys!)

I’ve been trying to decide what I can do to re-spark my interest in blogging. I thought about posting my daily food diaries. Well, that didn’t happen. I ultimately decided to re-format my blog slightly and make it into the types of blogs that I most like to read.

I LOVE picture blogs. I like blogs that have tons and tons of pictures with the text. So that’s what this blog is going to become. Still about weight loss and nutrition, still about my quest to be a personal trainer, but also tons of pictures. I don’t know if I’ve shared this or not, but I love photography. In fact, I did my first set of wedding pictures just a few weeks ago. Well, my camera has a decent phone on it, I have an absolutely awesome Canon camera, so at least once per week, I’m going to post tons of photos in a post. We’ll see how this goes. Bear with me, okay? And please, feel free to contribute any thoughts, suggestions, or anything else that could help me improve Stellar Path!

So, without further ado, this is the post of what we did yesterday!

We started off going to the gym for an hour of Aqua Zumba and an hour of weights. No picture of either. (I never take my phone in the gym with me because I don’t want it in my pocket, and I definitely am not taking a picture of myself doing Zumba in the pool shirtless. No one wants to see that.)

We came home, rested a bit, ate lunch, and then went out for the rest of our day.

We took off down I-65 South and I went to Great Escape to try and sell some of my old Playboys.

They didn’t want them. They offered me $3 for a 1967 Playboy. I declined. These babies will probably end up on eBay. I did, however, buy a CD of music from the Simpsons for $4.99.

Then, we went to Sam’s!

I love Sam’s. I don’t know why; you have to pay to shop there, but I still love it. It might be because of free samples!

That’s Tina getting us a tiny slice of pizza from the tiny pizza lady. (The pizzas were tiny, not the lady. She was regular human size.)

I saw some Rice Krispies that I really, really, really wanted.

I didn’t get them.

I did, however, get my blood pressure taken. Top number was a little high, pulse was ridiculous (my resting pulse is not that high – I dunno what the deal was), but my low number was where it should be. I need to get my overall numbers lowered, but they are better than what they’ve been in the past!

After this, we went to TJ Maxx so Tina could look for a present for her mom whose birthday is coming up. She didn’t find one, but she did try on a hat, both without shades…

…and with shades…

I like the second one best.

Then we went to Nat’s Outdoor Sports. Tina needed a new pair of shoes, and she saw some Vibrams Five Fingers calling her name. The salesman, Chris, was honestly the most helpful salesman of any type I have ever met. Tina ended up purchasing a pair of Five Fingers, which were actually cheaper than another type of shoe she was considering. He also diagnosed my shoe problem (my feet roll outward, and I need a shoe that will roll me inward), and in a few days, I’ll have a specially ordered pair of shoes waiting for me. I can’t wait!

This is Tina’s feet at home later that night.

This is Tina reading all about her Five Fingers shoes, which she so far loves.

Before we headed home, we decided to go to Jackon’s Orchard to buy some in-season fruit. They have apples and peaches in season now, and some fresh white peaches were definitely calling my name!

This is the steep drive up the side of a mountain to get to Jackson’s Orchard. Seriously – you have no idea how steep this drive is. This picture does NOT do it justice.

This is a view of a cute little pond once you get to the top.

And this is the actual “barn” of Jackson’s Orchard where you buy all kinds of fresh produce and plants and local crafts.

They had tons of peaches, affordably priced.

They also had a cat, who was not for sale, who mostly just laid around and did… well, pretty much nothing. Luckiest cat in the whole world.

Also had the funniest sign I’ve ever seen regarding produce. I don’t know why it made me laugh so hard.

We ended up buying 1/2 a bushel of white peaches. Some we are eating fresh, and some others we are going to make jam, jelly, and preserves out of.

This is our first batch that is going to become white peach preserves. I’ll let you know more when they’re done.

Okay, that’s pretty much what our weekend consisted of. I plan to post again before next weekend. Have a great day!

One quick note before I write this quick post. I wrote my weight wrong last week. It was not 334.1; it was 344.1. That was a typo on my part.

Which is why I am still elated to tell you that I weighed in this morning at 339.1, exactly five pounds less than last Wednesday! Woo hoo!

This is a Personal Trainer weigh-in, because I am five pounds closer to my goal of having a career in fitness. I’ve made no real secret of the dissatisfaction I feel with my current line of work. It just isn’t me anymore. I want to help people get healthy, and I can’t do that at 339 pounds, but I can do it at a healthy weight. I’m five pounds closer.

Replies to blogs and comments coming soon. I just wanted to write this before I had to the gym, because after the ten hour day at work I pulled today, I know I’m probably just going to crash when I get home.

Still, on June 23, 2010, I weighed in at 339.1, five pounds less than last week, with a total loss of 63.9 pounds. I know I probably won’t lose five pounds next week, but I’d be very happy with two.

Hey, remember that time you had a blog? Something about a path? Something path dot org?

What’s a blog? Is that like a sinus infection? I get those all the time.

No, remember, you used to write on your blog, and you read other people’s blogs, and there was like a community, and you were a part of it.

Sounds vaguely familiar…

So yeah… I’ve kinda sucked at the whole blogging thing this summer.

Some of it has just been sheer busy-ness. We started summer camp at work, and pulling these fifty and sixty hour weeks has been killing me.

Some of it has been non-work real life getting in the way. Tina and I had both of ours cars broken into about ten days ago in our driveway WHILE we were at home and we had several hundred dollars worth of electronics stolen. That kinda unnerves you, more than I would have guessed it would, and internet time just hasn’t seemed as important.

And sadly, the diet has fallen by the wayside. I’ve kept up the exercise, but I haven’t been tracking my food, I haven’t been being cognizant of what I’ve been eating, and things are just slipping farther and farther away.

But I’ve spent the last few days thinking, and I have to get this back under control. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I want to weigh under 300 before my wedding in four months. Tough but doable, but I can’t sit around being tired and whiny and expect it to happen.

So here is what I’m doing.

Instituting a new weigh-in day. Weigh-in day is now Wednesday. I can’t promise my posts will be big and elaborate on weigh-in day, but there WILL be a post about my weight.

Today is Wednesday, June 16, 2010. My weight is 344.1. At my highest several years ago, I weighed 403. I have lost a grand total of 58.9 pounds. That number is going to keep growing.

I am also going to commit to posting at least twice per week. I’m also going to commit to reading and responding to other’s posts. My apologies to those of you I’ve been ignoring. I still remember and care about you, and I’m about to show you.

I hope you’ll come back to Stellar Path. I’m still here.

The Star Trek Weekend Warriors Edition is well under way. If you haven’t signed up yet, it’s not too late! To participate, all you have to do is select a few easily measurable goals related to health and fitness and stay on track for the entire weekend! This is a great challenge. It’s up to YOU to determine how well you do.

And of course, those who participate get to take part in a little link lovin’, too.

The Weekend Warriors Challenge isn’t at its home over at So Long Fat Ass this month, so the turnout is significantly smaller than usual, but I hope there are still plenty of people participating who just haven’t officially signed on, yet. If I’ve missed you, please remind me and I’ll put you up asap!

Tara at 263 and counting
Brandon at So Long Fat Ass
Rinn at Ring Around Rinn
Frank at Male Weight Loss Now
Joe at Joe the Runner
Vinny at Fat to Fit Diary
Molly at Fluffy Girl
Shelli at Shelli Belly
Jeremy at Stellar Path

Oh, and my three goals…

One – Post an update about my weight loss status and what I’m trying now. I’m pretty excited about it, both from a physical and mental standpoint. I think I’ve finally found something that’s working for me, and while I won’t be sharing EVERYTHING this weekend, I definitely have something pretty big coming down the pike that I’m thrilled to share.
Two – Work out in the weight room twice.
Three – Drink a gallon of water both Saturday and Sunday.

It’s not too late! Let’s show this weekend who’s boss!

We are Weekend Warriors. Resistance is futile.

The first weekend of the month has rolled around once again, and this time, we are doing a Star Trek theme! I’ve been bugging Brandon over at So Long Fat Ass to do a Star Trek themed Weekend Warriors challenge for about two months now. Well Brandon is heading out of town this weekend, and he knew I was itching to go all Star Trek on weight loss, so he asked me if I would be willing to host the challenge this month.

My response? Heck yeah!

What does Star Trek have to do with weight loss? A few things. (Watch how I make this fit.)

First of all, except for Scotty, is anyone on Star Trek fat? How many of us wouldn’t set our phasers to kill to have Trip Tucker or Captain Archer’s physique or possess Seven of Nine’s curves?

Secondly, Star Trek is about exploring the unknown. Many of us are exploring unknown lifestyles and health habits as we go on our weight loss journey, and the end result will be just as amazing and stellar.

And finally, we frequently challenge ourselves to eat new and healthy foods. Is that any different than Guinan introducing Worf to prune juice? (Okay, that one was a stretch. Bear with me here.)

The challenge is going to work the same as it has in the past few months. For those of you new to the challenge, and as a reminder for the rest of you, here are the rules of the challenge:

Set 2-3 goals for yourself for the weekend
Goals can be anything, as long as they are health/fitness related in some way
Goals must be specific and measurable, so that you can give a definitive pass/fail result at the end of the challenge. For example, “workout at least 30 minutes every day this weekend” is preferred over “get more exercise this weekend.”
Sometime between now and Friday afternoonish (June 4th), write a blog post about the challenge, and detail what your goals for the weekend are. Then, come back here and leave a comment with a link to your post, so we can all keep an eye on each other and offer encouragement.
The Friday before the challenge starts (June 4th), I’ll put up another post with a list of all the participants.
The Monday after the challenge (June 7), I’ll put up a post where everyone can report back on how they did over the weekend.
Everyone is encouraged to write an after-challenge post with your results, and link to all the other participants (my after-challenge post will have a list of all the participants with links, so it should be easy to just copy/paste that section). That way, we can raise more awareness of the challenge by getting the word out, and hopefully have even more participants next time. That, and everyone can share in a little link-lovin’!
Everyone is also encouraged to tweet about the challenge using the #WeekendWarriors hashtag
Maybe something like this: I’m participating in the #WeekendWarriors challenge from @SoLongFatAss, are you? http://bit.ly/9OUbTv

Hopefully, we’ll all be successful this weekend. Whether you are paying Quark for some time on the Holosuites for a workout, taking a jog on Risa, or climbing around in the Jeffries Tubes, get out there, get moving, and may the Force be with you… Er, wait. That’s not right.

Oh yeah! Live long and prosper!

I woke up this morning, hopped on the scale, probably scratched myself, ambled over to the computer, logged onto PhysicsDiet, entered my weight, and then did a happy little dance in my desk chair, because my weight is now officially 341.

Yes, it took me longer than I would like, but you know what I would like? I’d like to wake up skinny tomorrow with a sore back because of sleeping on a pile of diamonds in the backseat of my Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. Not gonna happen.

Instead, I am going to rejoice that my weight is going down, no matter how slowly, and eventually, I will get to my goal weight, and all of this hard work will pay off. There are no Biggest Loser numbers in my future. There are probably no endorsement deals from weight loss companies in my future, either. But increased health and a lower weight ARE in my future, and I’m making them happen.

And I purposefully say increased health, because I’m already healthy. Yeah, I know, I’m carrying WELL over 100 pounds of extra fat that I don’t need, but it doesn’t even matter to me, because I can do things now that I could never do a year ago.

I can bench press more than twice now what I could at sixteen. I can go for an hour on the elliptical without completely dying of exertion. I can work my abs for fifteen minutes straight, and while I may be cussing my trainer the entire time, I’m doing it!

If I can do this at 341, then by my calculations, when I get to my goal weight of 180*, I expect to be able to fly and bench press small buildings.

(*Weight Goal of 180 may or may not be realistic. Stay tuned for the future to see what I eventually decided is my ideal weight.)

I’ve been in a funk for a while, and I’m finally out of it. Weight loss life is good. I wish I could promise you this is one of those blogs where you’ll see dramatic weight loss and you’ll ooh and aah as I drop dozens of pounds monthly. Not gonna happen here unless I’m in an industrial accident and lose all four of my limbs.

But you will see a guy who is chipping away at a gigantic block of fat marble to make myself into Michelangelo’s David. Preferably with a bigger penis. And with a receding hair line, because weight loss don’t fix that.

You’ll also see a guy with his very own cooking show, sponsored by no one and watched by tens of people monthly. This weekend, we are filming three.

I will finally post my video for Almond Joy Larabars. I’ll also share my recipe for Bacon Wrapped Chicken with a Cream Cheese Filling. Best chicken recipe ever.

And someday, I’ll have that Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. Because when you get to goal weight, you get a free $300,000 car, right?

A pretty exciting thing happened for me last week, and I didn’t even realize it until recently.

On May 7th, I finished walking across Nebraska!

Okay, I’m not sure that I actually deserve confetti, but I’m pretty excited about it anyway. I am now TWO states down!

I had a little trouble deciding where to walk next. Based on the map above, I decided that I am going to walk through Mississippi. I live in the South; let’s add a little color there. Mississippi is 340 miles long. At my rate of 1,900 steps per mile, it will take me 646,000 steps to cover the state. As of right now, I am 110,317 miles into Mississippi. That’s 58 miles in less than two weeks.

The above picture is of Gulf Shores in Mississippi. I’ve been to Gulf Shores in Alabama but not Mississippi. After seeing that photo, I REALLY wish I was there!

In other health and fitness news, clearly, my exercise is going great. In fact, Tina and I have TORN the gym up the last two nights. We have been on fire in the weight room. We’re lifting hard and heavy, following that up with ab work and cardio, and we’re slowly seeing results. One “sort of” side effect of lifting is that it engorges your muscles with blood and you’ll show temporary gains on the scale. However, it’s kind of nice to flex a muscle and actually feel a hard lump there instead of saggy fat, so we’re definitely going to keep working this hard for a long while. The number on the scale does not define me; it is only a general measure of my progress.

We both have wedding related goals. I want to get below 280 by October. I don’t know if that’s possible or realistic, but that’s what I’m shooting for. My most recent weight loss past would tell me that is flat out not possible. However, my first trip through weight loss land makes that extremely possible. All I can say is that I’m going to give it my very best.

I suspect I’ll be able to post my 341 weigh-in here in about two days. The weight loss is slow but steady.

My diet is always my sticking point. I love food. I even love healthy food. I haven’t yet found a way to stop mindless eating. I’ve curtailed it, yes, but eliminated… not quite there yet. Any suggestions?

This is my current night time snack. Edamame. Virtually no taste but so much fun to eat!

Video coming VERY soon, I promise. We have our tie-dyed aprons ready to go, and we are set to make Almond Joy Larabars!

What do you do to help with mindless snacking?

I weighed in last Saturday. I lost one pound. One tiny, measly, pitiful pound. I weighed in at 336.8. Over the past week, I counted my points. I worked out. I avoided overly processed foods.

Yet I still only lost one pound.

I didn’t go into a funk. I didn’t binge. I didn’t whine. But I wasn’t overly excited, either. I resolved myself to the fact that, to get down to 180, it make take me 157 weeks at one pound a week. That’s over three years. Oh well; I’ll keep hacking away at it.

I filmed a video, but I just didn’t feel like posting it. I deleted it. I wrote a very short blog post about my minimal weight loss, but I deleted it. I just didn’t feel like it. Both felt entirely too whiny to me.

I came extremely close to turning Stellar Path into just a healthy living blog instead of a weight loss blog. (I’m certainly not threatening to quit – I enjoy writing, so I’ll write even if I have absolutely no one reading my words.) Maybe I could turn Stellar Path into one of those food blogs?

But then, last night, I decided to measure my stomach. Just to see.

My stomach was 53 inches. That’s smaller than it was three weeks ago. An inch and a half smaller. And that certainly seems like it should be more than a pound difference.

I’m changing my weigh-ins around here. Most people weigh-in weekly and post their weight loss or gain on a specifc day. I’m not doing this anymore. I’m going to continue weighing in every day. I’m going to start treating each pound of this weight loss journey like the victory that it is. Each pound that I take off of my body is four sticks of butter. I’m celebrating each pound. Every time PhysicsDiet tells me my “average” weight has dropped a pound, I’ll post a celebratory post.

According to PhysicsDiet, my weight is currently 342. That’s today’s weigh-in. I’m naming this post Four Sticks of Butter, because I did lose a pound. I’ve lost a lot of pounds. And while I’ve regained some of them, some are also gone forever. And each pound is four sticks of butter that are no longer clogging my arteries or lining my muscles.

I used to weigh 403 pounds. Today, I weigh 342. That is sixty-one pounds, lost forever. (Sorry to whoever found it.) In a few days, I’ll weigh 341. A few days after that, I’ll weigh 340. When I tie the knot in October, I hope to weigh less than 300. 280 would be really nice. We’ll see.

This journey is taking me a while. I’m okay with that, and I think it will be better for me mentally to not turn every Friday or Saturday into a dreaded trip to the scale, but instead I will celebrate each pound as it is lost, whenever that happens. (Note to self: Do not get distressed if it takes more than three or four days to lose a pound.)

I’ll start posting more regularly. I’ve just been anti-blog lately. My apologies to those of you I regularly read and comment on. I’ll start getting better.

My camcorder will still be put to good use. I love to cook; I want my own cooking show on Food Network. That’ll never happen, so I’m going to have my own cooking show right here at Stellar Path. This weekend, Tina and I are making Almond Joy LaraBars.

This is most definitely a King of the World weigh-in.

I weighed in this morning at 337.8. Yes, that’s up from last week.

Totally my fault. I know why it happened. No one to blame but myself.

And I have nowhere to go but up. So that’s where I’m going.

Next week, I’m weighing in at 333. It’ll happen.

Here’s my video this week. I tried something new. I did it while driving. The noise is because it was raining hard here in town and I drive a convertible, which is ridiculously noisy when it rains.

I’ll post again tomorrow. I don’t really have a lot to say that I didn’t express in the video.

I’m doing okay. I messed up a little, but it’s not the end of the world. In fact, this experience made me stronger. I learned from it. I’m the King of the World*.

(*Figuratively speaking. Just so you don’t think I’m all cocky or anything.)

First of all, the news that those of you who entered the Yoga mat contest are excited to learn… The winner is Tara! Congratulations Tara! Please email me jeremy@stellarpath.net to claim your prize.

I hope to be able to host giveaways like this again. If you are involved with ANY type of company, organization, or have anything to give away, please contact me. I was so pleased with my Aurorae Yoga Mat, I just had to sing their praises, and it led to me getting an extra yoga mat out there in the world. All is good.

I also recently got a free sample of Cheribundi in the mail, and I’ll be reviewing that on Sunday. (Quick note – awesome stuff. I want more!)

I am immensely frustrated with myself right now. I had a slightly stressful episode yesterday, and in the grand scheme of things, it was very frickin’ slight. I have worked jobs in the past where I’ve been absolutely lambasted in court by lawyers and judges, I have had to go into filthy, frightening homes to protect abused children, and I have had to stand up to bullies in every shape and size imaginable in the professional social work world. I guess that’s what you get when you go into a mental health field. I’m currently in the educational field, and while the working conditions are WAY better, there are still lots of stresses. If you work in nonprofits, you often have to deal with the dregs of society. Ugly to say, but it’s true.

(Just so no one misinterprets, I have also met many wonderful people who were just trying to do the best they could on what little they had to make it day to day. Those people were the reason I stayed (and continue to stay) in this field I’ve chosen for as long as I have. Lord knows it isn’t the money.)

So anyway, my point with this little diatribe – I know how people act, I know how people think, and I can handle pretty much anything. I have literally been cussed in court. I have been threatened in jail cells (while I was working, not imprisoned – just so we’re clear). I have had kids spit on me and draw blood during attacks before when I was trying to hold back on my restraint hold so I didn’t hurt the kid. (I’m also a hemophiliac, so it doesn’t take much to make me bleed, but I digress.) However, despite all of this, I still have expectations for how people should act. I try to be a nice guy. At my inner core, I really think I am.

So when people aren’t nice to me, it usually throws me for a loop. It happens all the time; usually, it doesn’t bother me. There have been a few incidents in the past little bit that did, and I’m not sure why.

I’m trying the whole “therapist heal thyself” bit, and I’ve made some progress. A big part of it is that I still care what people think about me, which I know is immensely stupid. But knowing one thing and feeling something else can be two different things. So that’s one of the things I’m working on that I hope will let me find a bit more peace in my life. I have to learn to stop caring what people think of me. 95% of the time, I am EXCELLENT at this.

I know there are places where people don’t like me. Heck, I supervise a staff, and I know for a fact, almost everyone dislikes their boss. But the fact is, I am almost always in control of my emotions, I know how people think (three degrees and over a decade of experience in mental health gives one a pretty good insight into human nature), and I’ve usually got a good handle on almost everything.

Almost. I usually understand most people, and I understand their motivations for why they do things. Even if it is things that I don’t like, I still get it.

I usually get me. I know why I became obese. I know why I used to binge eat. I know it’s something I’ll struggle with forever. I’m struggling right now. Because last night, I binged.

I binged bad. Two donuts, a bag of Doritos, an ice cream sundae, cheese fries, and chicken fingers.

Probably 2,500 calories worth of food. At least. Maybe more.

In my mind, I rationalized it by saying, “Oh, you haven’t had more than 1,000 calories all day you were so busy at work. You can eat more tonight.”

Wrong. Wrong for me on so many levels. This is a BIG setback for me.

I don’t want to be trite, but I’m not going to beat myself up over this. I’m making a public announcement that I did it, I’m letting it go, I’m owning my mistake, and I’m moving on.

May will be a new month. May will be a fresh start.

I’m reevaluating EVERYTHING today. Where do I want to be? Who do I want to be? Where do I want to go? How am I getting there? What stands in my way, and how can I react next time in place of bingeing?

I’ll post details in my video weigh-in tomorrow. I know I’ve gained; there is no way I couldn’t have. That’s okay. I’m not focused on that right now.

I have to get healthy, physically and mentally.

And just so this post isn’t a total downer, here’s a picture of a binge-eating hamster.

That’s kinda what I felt like last night. Only it wasn’t a carrot three times the size of my head. It was Doritos.

Have a good Friday night, folks. I’m going to see A Nightmare on Elm Street tonight, too. I’ll let you know how it is. Sweet dreams.